Forever, Infinity Squared


Our love started with so much hope, so many dreams. It was a fairy tale that took us both by surprise. It blossomed into a true love that bonded us together. My Darling, my heart and soul belong to you. My destiny belongs in your hands.

Our memories are filled with so much joy, and yet so much pain too. In my heart, I know the joy outweighs the pain. I want to embrace the joy and hold it close to my heart where it can live forever. I want to remember the pain as a lesson, a lesson of how much we almost lost. A lesson of life to be lived with a memory of how not to behave. You and I have reopened the door of conversation. I want to know the man you truly are. We can never hide from each other again. This journey I ask you to walk with me will be joyous at times and rough at other times. I don't offer you perfection. I offer you me, a woman who has weaknesses. As long as we can share, and I can show you me (the true me), I feel strong.

My love, I don't know how we are going to work thru all of our problems, but I want you to know I am here for the long haul. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want yours to be the first face I see when I awake and the last one I seen when I close my eyes at night. I want your hand to be the one I am holding when I die.

I have never doubted my love for you, and have never doubted the love you have for me. How do you think I have survived the last four months? I had to leave you for a while because feeling that love and not being able to express it or see it in your eyes was creating such suffering in me. I felt like I was dying inside. Your love has filled me with such warmth, such light, but not to be able to truly feel it coming from you was the darkest, most frustrating hour of my life.

I need you. I need to feel you in my arms. You don't know how hard this is to admit to you. For I haven't admitted that I need anyone for so long. Especially not to myself. It really makes me feel vulnerable. Maybe with your help I won't have to feel this way any longer. I do need you, as surely as I need to take my next breath.

I need us to hold hands and laugh together, love together, and also to cry together. My life is joined with yours, my love. Not just for the present, but for the past and for the future. Especially for the future. We are separated by so much distance but my love, you live in my heart. You are never far. All I have to do is think of you and you are here.

I wish I could offer you promises. I wish I could paint a future with no uncertainties. But I have none to offer. I have no idea what the future holds for us. I just know I want us to experience it together. I think it will be an adventure. Even as I write the word "adventure " I know what it means. We have shared so many, and they have never had to be earth-shaking. They are the little ones that have climbed into our hearts and found a home. They are the kind that have created the sweetest memories. They are the kind that only you and I can share and appreciate. That's where my love for you comes from. That and knowing so many new memories await.

Sometimes the depth of my feelings for you takes my breath; sometimes just the thought of you makes my breathing more energizing than any I have ever experienced at the same time it calms and soothes me. Sometimes, it's so light, it's not like breathing at all, and that's when I'm sure I'm in love. That's when I'm sure it's true and lasting. It's not just when I think of you, it's when I think of us. But it's really not a thought either, it's an inner presence, it's a sureness.

I am trying to be patient for us to be together again, and you know I'm probably the most impatient person in the world. I don't care how long it takes for us to work this out because I am so sure of the outcome. For me the outcome is a life of happiness.

My Darling, come dance with me for the rest of our lives.