If Only You Knew


If only I could find the courage to give you this letter. I never knew love until I knew you. We shared our minds, bodies, hearts, and souls with each other. We shared a feeling so deep that it simply couldn't be put into words, but I never knew loving someone could hurt this bad. We have hurt each other in ways we promised we never would, too.

The love in my heart for you will never change. People say that time heals all wounds. But the truth is, I still dream of you, I still cry myself to sleep thinking of you, and I still wish on every star that you were here with me. I hope and pray every day that I will run into you. I still look out the window, hoping you will pull into the driveway. First thing I do when I come home is check the answering machine. I still love you and want you to have the best in life.

What hurt me the most is the day that should have been one of the biggest in our lives: the day our daughter was born. I was scared, I needed you. I always thought in my heart that you would be there for that special moment, no matter what was going on. As I lay on that hospital bed, having your baby, I thought you would show up. I prayed so hard that you would come, but you didn't. You didn't even call to see if our newborn child was okay. I have never felt so scared, lost, and alone as I did that day. I wish I knew why, I wish I could understand. If you ever need me, though, I'll still be there. You have a special place in my heart and, no matter what, you'll always be there.

I hope one day you will come around and get to know and love our daughter. She is one gift from our love you gave me that you can never take back.