For Your Happiness...


I want to thank you for all the love, happiness, pain, and tears you have brought into my life. I always told you that you came into my life for a reason. And yes, it is true, you have taught me to love unconditionally, no matter how painful it was. I will always remember the love we shared, and the thought of it will always bring me a smile with no regrets, even though it brought me both joy and tears.

You have strengthened my faith and brought me closer to God, as I always depended on Him because I was always afraid to lose you. I never really lost you, did I? I know you loved me--not enough to hold on to me but enough to love me for a short time. Although I was not able to behave properly with you, I am more cautious now and wiser.

You hurt me; I can still feel the pain of every word you told me, especially when you weren't sure if you loved me or not. I used to ask myself, how could this guy who had once put sweet, loving messages on my answering system hurt me now so badly with his hurtful words. I loved you so much that when you pushed me away, I lost my self-esteem, my self-confidence, even my ability to think, so I realize what I felt for you was true love. You actually made me stronger when you hurt me this way. I did not say it was good for me to be hurt, but it was only because we shared true love that I could be so badly hurt.

It is silly, but the tears you brought me cleansed my heart from all past hurt. I probably still might not be over what I've suffered in the past, but this experience made me a better person. I still cry when I think about you. I still have sleepless nights, still wake up too early, thinking of you. I still wish we could be together. I still wish you loved me, but I am a better person now, able to understand things better, not just from my point of view. I can better understand other people's emotions now, so I don't see how I could ever hate you. Thanks for bringing out the best in me, for all the joy, for giving me the best thing that ever happened in my life--YOU. I know it's not the end for me. I shouldn't be ever afraid to love again; I only need to be wiser.

In my heart, you will always be more than just a sweet memory of the past or the love that once was, much more than that. I only walked away because you asked me too, because you thought it would make you happy, but my heart is never letting you go. There will always be a place in my heart for you, even though you have given up on us.

I guess I will always love you. I will always love that simple man, the sweet you, the sensitive you, the affectionate you. And I will always miss your loving messages, your admiring glances, the sweet kisses, your strong arms, the feeling of being safe around you, your sweet smile, our long telephone conversations, and our late night dinners.

I will always turn around when I see the same color van you drove, or see your letters in a license plate and stop, smile and think of you. I will always look back on the places we've been with that special joy in my heart. The time we spent was brief, but I loved every minute of it, and I will always cherish it.

I thank God you came into my life and I love you and always will.