Tell Me What I Did Wrong. (I Know I Can Make It Up to You.)

Letter #1

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I'm writing to you because you hung up on me the last time I called you. I'm not sure what I've done to upset you, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. From what other people have told me, I know I can be outspoken and sound offensive at times. I think part of the problem is that you and I were brought up in different cultures and at opposite ends of the country. What people from my corner of the world regard as honest and straightforward can be considered rude and abrasive here. It might help, though, if you would consider my intentions. I wouldn't deliberately do anything to hurt you because I'm falling in love with you. I knew that was true when I felt so wounded when you wouldn't talk to me. So please don't take offense where there was no offense intended.

Although my intentions are good, it looks like I need someone with finer sensibilities to point out my blunders and teach me how to behave here. If you would be willing to take on this great challenge, we might have to spend long evenings together for me to really get the picture. Would you mind? I think that kind of arrangement would have a lot of benefits, and we could start going out together again, too. For openers, I've gotten prime tickets for "The Phantom of the Opera" in two weeks, and you know they're not easy to get. We need to make up before then so we can go see it together and find out why it's still so popular.

We hit it off so well when we first went out a month ago, I know we can get over this bump in the road. I'll stop by tomorrow evening around 7 p.m. to see if we can talk about it face-to-face. Afterward, if you would just let me put my arms around you, I know I can make you feel better. Just give me the chance.

Letter #2

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How are things going? I haven't seen much of you lately. I'm not sure, but it seems like you're upset with me. You're not exactly out-and-out avoiding me, but every time I suggest doing something these days, you have some reason not to. And you haven't called for a few days. You could just be really busy, I guess, or maybe you have a lot on your mind with work or something else?

If I've done something to offend you or hurt you, I'm sorry--really. Jan told me yesterday that you had mentioned to her I had a phone conversation with Dave the other day. I don't know if my talking to him might have upset you, but I hope not. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but ever since Jan introduced us, I've thoroughly enjoyed spending time together and getting to know you. The last month and a half has been a lot of fun because I never know what to expect when I'm with you. You have a real love for life, and I truly admire your optimism and your positive attitude. You're such a good person, so your friendship means a great deal to me. Please know that I would never do anything to intentionally cause you pain.

Could we get together and talk? I'd really like to know what's on your mind these days. Maybe we could go for a walk along the beach on Saturday (I can pack a picnic lunch), or we could go to Taquito's Friday night (my treat) and maybe catch a movie afterwards. I know how you love Mexican food.

What do you say? I'll call on Thursday to see how things are going and see if we can get together one of those days.

Take care.

Letter #3

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When you walked away from me last night, I stood in the darkness for a while wondering what I had done to upset you. I know we've had our differences in the past, but we've always been able to talk them out. Usually, I have said something that you have misunderstood--maybe I'm too blunt and opinionated. If so, I truly apologize.

I have replayed our conversation over and over in my head to try to identify the subject or phrase or action that went awry. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. My intention is never to offend you. I'm falling for you--I think you know that--but I'm also getting to know you. Please be patient with me as I discover the sensitive subjects and learn how to communicate on a level that does not cause offense.

Please accept the flowers that I have sent along with this note. If you count them, you will see that there are 14, one for each week that we have known each other. Let's not throw that away over my blunder. Would you see me again? Would you explain to me what I have done or am doing wrong? Will you teach me how to do better? Could we pick up the pieces and start over? I promise to do better. I was hoping that you would agree to go with me to Marie's Restaurant (our first date) and then to Oklahoma! With the hope that you would say yes, I have made reservations and purchased tickets for this Saturday night.

I know we can work through this. Please give me another chance. We have had such a good relationship. Let's hold onto it. I'll call you tomorrow evening. Please say you'll go out with me so we can talk face-to-face. I want to make it right. I want to take you in my arms and feel your forgiveness. If you will give me this chance, I promise to do better.

Letter #4

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I can tell that you're upset with me. You haven't called me in three days, and when I've tried to call you, you've had little to say and want to hang up quickly. I've thought about it and I can't figure out what I did to turn you against me. Did I do or say something wrong at the party last weekend? That's the last time I saw you. When we said goodbye, you didn't seem upset, but maybe I was just too tired to notice.

If I did do something, I'm really sorry. I can honestly say that I didn't mean to hurt you or offend you in any way. I love you. I hate it when you're unhappy with me. Could we please meet so you can tell me if I did something that bothered you? If it's not me and something else is bothering you that you haven't told me about, maybe we could have dinner and talk. I want to get everything out in the open and come to some kind of an understanding. If you're interested, we could go to a hockey game afterwards and just have some fun.

Please think about it.