Example Letter #1
Thank you for extending me the offer of employment as the Director of Human Resources for the Doe Company. The opportunity to talk to you and the other executives has been enlightening and enjoyable. The company's growth plans are exciting and challenging.
After considerable thought, I am concerned about the salary you offered. It is lower than I anticipated. Since I have had extensive experience in all aspects of the Human Resource functions (technical recruiting, compensation, employee relations, benefits administration, employment and organizational development), I feel I will be a great asset to you. My thorough knowledge of the numerous federal and state laws and regulations which affect the company will also aid you.
I do want to accept this position but feel that we need to discuss the salary further. I will call in a few days to set up an appointment with you.
Thank you again for the offer. I am sure we can reach an agreement.
Example Letter #2
I appreciate your offering me the position of Section Head of Shipping at Doe. I look forward to working with you.
Unfortunately the salary you offered me is lower than I feel I can accept. I have had eight years of experience in Shipping during which I completely redesigned my current employer's shipping process. This saved over $200,000 in the past two years. I am confident that I can achieve significant savings for Doe with no loss of efficiency. Under these circumstances I feel that your salary offer should be increased by 10%.
I am sure that we can come to a mutually satisfactory arrangement. I will be in Springfield next Wednesday and would like to meet with you to discuss this. I will call to arrange a time for us to meet.
Example Letter #3
I was delighted to receive your offer of a position as office manager at Doe. I was very impressed by the friendly yet professional attitude of all the staff and I look forward to joining your team.
I regret to say that I was disappointed by the salary you offered. Although I have been out of the work force for some years, I feel I am worth more than an entry-level salary. I have worked extensively on a volunteer basis on the school and community level and have held several responsible positions during this time. These include City PTA President, School Carnival Chair for two years, and Fund-raising Chair for the new library. I feel that this experience should qualify me for a salary of $30,000 per year.
I work well with people and am able to motivate those who work under my direction. I am sure that these skills will be very valuable to Doe. I would like to discuss this with you further and will call to set up an appointment.
Example Letter #4
Thank you for extending me the position of sales representative. I am eager to become a part of your sales team and have the opportunity to work toward making a real contribution in this company. Armed with an array of qualifications, I am sure that I will be able to fulfill all required duties and obligations. Please know that I am ready to give my best efforts to this position.
As I stated in my application and in our interview, I am flexible in considering offers regarding the terms of my employment. I have evaluated your current offer, however, and feel that further negotiations are necessary. I propose that we take another look at the salary you offered me in order for you to better take into account my skills, education, and experience.
I am greatly interested in working for your company, as I believe this position will help me develop my current strengths and capabilities, as well as develop new ones. I look forward to developing a long-term relationship with your organization, but I require a salary that is in harmony with my credentials and sufficient to meet my personal needs. Let us get together and reconsider your offer. I am confident that we can reach a figure that is satisfactory to both of us.
Write Your Letter Step-by-Step
1 Thank the reader for extending the job offer. Express confidence in the management, company or other aspects of the offer.
Sample Sentences for Step 1
- I was delighted to receive your letter offering me the position of Head of Design at Doe Corporation.
- Thank you for offering me the opportunity to join your firm.
- Thank you for inviting me to join your team at Doe Electrical.
- I was very pleased to receive your offer of a position at Doe. It is an organization for which anyone would be proud to work.
- Thank you for the job offer. I am eager to become part of such a dynamic team.
- I am pleased to have the opportunity extended to me to work in your marketing department.
- Thank you for the job offer. I look forward to joining your department.
Sample Phrases for Step 1
- anyone would be proud to
- great opportunity for
- has a proud reputation
- inviting me to join your
- join the staff of
- join your team
- offering me a position
- such a dynamic
- such a reputable company
- thank you for
- the job offer
- the opportunity to work with
- to be a part of
- very inviting opportunity
- was delighted to receive
- was happy to receive
- was so pleased to receive
- your invitation to
- your offer of employment
2 State that you want a better salary. Mention the salary you want if you feel it appropriate. Identify the factors that you feel warrant a higher salary, such as education or experience.
Sample Sentences for Step 2
- You should be aware, however, that I have a Master's degree, rather than the Bachelor's degree requested as a qualification. I feel that my advanced degree warrants a higher starting salary than the one offered.
- This will not be the first time that I have headed up a design team, as I was Head of Design at Doe's for three years before I decided to move on. As I am no newcomer to the requirements and responsibilities of the job, I believe I merit a higher starting salary than the one mentioned in the offer.
- Although I received the required Associate's Degree only two years ago, I have had more than fifteen years of experience supervising profoundly retarded students. I believe that this extensive experience warrants our taking another look at the starting salary level.
- It seems to me that the remuneration package you offered is not commensurate with my education and experience. Please consider that after eight years of experience in the field, I will be able to be effective immediately
- Although so much of the work that I have done these past few years has been on a volunteer basis, I believe that my organizational and management experience is worth more than the package being offered.
Sample Phrases for Step 2
- am no novice at
- experience is worth
- extensive experience in
- greater than what is normally required
- greatly increased contribution to
- just one item that
- may not have considered
- may not be aware that
- mentioned previously that
- merits another look
- more commensurate with
- my qualifications and experience
- please consider that
- reconsider the starting salary
- warrants a higher salary than
- was not stated in the offer
- with the understanding that
- worth more than
- would like to clarify
3 Confirm that you will make significant contributions to the success of the organization.
Sample Sentences for Step 3
- I am eager to use my skills in the service of the company
- I know that I can make a significant contribution to the company's success.
- As we discussed previously, my experience and interest in streamlining management practices will be of great value to Doe.
- I will greatly enjoy working on the projects we discussed, and am confident that we can complete them to everybody's satisfaction.
- I look forward to contributing to Doe's future success.
Sample Phrases for Step 3
- am sure that
- am confident that
- as we move into the future
- can contribute greatly to
- can make a real contribution to
- feel certain that
- go from strength to strength
- make a significant contribution
- make the best use of
- move into a new
- my skills and experience
- rise to the challenge of
- to everybody's satisfaction
- will be pleased with
- will not be disappointed
- will be of great value to
4 Reaffirm your strong interest in the job offer. Assure the reader that a resolution is possible and that you want to accept the challenges of the position.
Sample Sentences for Step 4
- I am sure we can come to agreement in this matter, and look forward to starting work.
- I am eager to get started in the new job as soon as possible, and am confident that we can reach agreement on an appropriate salary.
- This position interests me greatly, and I would like to settle the issue of my salary as soon as possible so I can get down to work.
- Apart from the need to discuss my salary, I am happy with the offer and look forward to starting work.
- I would like to get going in the new job as soon as possible; we just need to come to agreement on remuneration.
Sample Phrases for Step 4
- am eager to begin
- am confident that
- an appropriate salary
- as soon as possible
- can come to agreement
- get down to work
- like to get started
- look forward to
- meet your expectations
- need to iron out this detail
- need to discuss this
- such a dynamic company
- suitable remuneration package
- this exciting opportunity
5 Indicate how you will make your next contact.
Sample Sentences for Step 5
- I will call you on Tuesday to discuss this further.
- I would like to meet with you to discuss this, and will call to arrange an appointment.
- I will be in Springfield next Wednesday. Could we discuss my salary over lunch?
- I would like to accept the offer but need to discuss the salary with you. I will call you on Friday.
- Would you be available to meet with me sometime this week so we can discuss this? I will call your secretary to set up a time.
Sample Phrases for Step 5
- a mutually agreeable arrangement
- an appropriate salary
- arrange a meeting
- can come to agreement
- discuss the details
- discuss our options
- need to discuss this
- package that is fair to all of us
- sometime during the next
- to set up a time to
- whether you can accommodate me
- whether this would be feasible
- will call your secretary
- will call you
- would you be available to
- would like to meet with