My Hopes For Us

I don't know how to approach this with you in person. Every day I fight a battle with myself in which my heart says I should tell you how I feel, but my head tells me not to be stupid. It would just cause damage to our friendship, and that you wouldn't be interested. I am not totally discounting the possibility that my feelings could be reciprocated, but as I have had very little luck with you in the past, my hopes are fairly small.

I know there is probably very little I can say to change your mind either way. I do feel that given the chance, this could turn into more, but I guess that would depend on you, and how you feel about me.

I can't pinpoint what it is, exactly, that makes me feel that you do have some feelings towards me. Maybe it's due to the way that when I talk to you, how you nearly always look me in the eyes; so few people do that anymore. Your eyes seem to speak to me.

I wish I could vocalize my feelings to you, but my fears prohibit me from doing so. I think that by the time I finally gain the courage, you will have found the person you are looking for. My biggest fear is that if I would tell you, then I would see a look of fear or horror on your face that would break me.

I wish I could tell you how every time you don't turn up for work, I fear that I will never see you again. When I see you, and sometimes you look down, I wish you would open up to me and let me into your life. I know it wouldn't be easy, but I still believe that I could be good for you, if only you could return my feelings. I know I may not be the best-looking man you know, and I don't have much to offer you financially. All I could offer you is my heart and soul.

I fear this will not turn out the way I hope, but I pray that it does. As I said before, you may never know the true extent of my feelings, although I imagine you have some suspicions what they might be.

This may be a crush or an infatuation but, I swear to you, it does not feel like it. I have had crushes before, but never really felt the depth of emotion I do for you.

I hope that if I can muster the courage to tell you how I feel that, whether or not you can reciprocate, it will turn out okay, and that at the very least we can be good friends. I do long for so much more, though.