Example Letter #1
I feel I should inform you that after several years of trying to reconcile our differences, John and I are separating. Our divorce will be final on June 30. His work abroad and mine in the theater have led us down two very different paths, and we both feel it best to go our separate ways.
I will continue to live in the same place with the children, and hope you will visit when you are in the area. Thank you for being such a good friend. I have sincerely appreciated your support.
Example Letter #2
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but John and I divorced last week. We reached the point where we hardly knew each other.
Because you have been such a good friend, I wanted to tell you directly. I will continue to live in our home with the children, and John has moved to an apartment at 1600 Main Street. I appreciate your friendship. Please keep in touch.
Example Letter #3
I would rather you heard it from me first: Jane and I are separating. Our divorce will be final by October.
You have known us well enough to understand how this seems to be the best solution.
Jane will be moving back to Springfield, her hometown. Meanwhile, I expect you will see a bit more of my face around your offices. I appreciate having good friends at a time like this.
Example Letter #4
I am sorry to inform you that Jane and I separated last March, and our divorce will be final sometime next month. I know this will cause our friends some of the same pain and sadness we have felt. We are sorry that we have been unable to resolve our differences, but we believe this decision is in everyone's best interests. Jane and the girls have moved to a condominium across town. Their new address is
648 Maple Lane #2, Springfield, Kansas 12345. My son Steven and I are still living at our old address; however, Jane and I both see the children on a regular basis.
I have always valued your friendship, so I wanted you to hear about this change in our lives from me. Although this is a difficult time for all of us, we are making the necessary adjustments and moving forward in our lives. Although we don't see each other often, I appreciate the friendship and support you have given me over the years, and hope we can continue to stay in touch.
Write Your Letter Step-by-Step
1 Explain at the outset that you have been divorced.
Sample Sentences for Step 1
- We feel a need to inform you that the divorce of John and Jane Doe was finalized on May 15.
- John and Jane Doe announce that they have divorced, as of May 15.
- This may come as a surprise, but John and I were divorced last month.
- We feel it appropriate to inform you that we have recently been divorced.
- After six years of marital challenges, we have decided that divorce is the best solution. We went our separate ways last week.
Sample Phrases for Step 1
- after much soul-searching
- after trying for six years to
- are in the process of
- be the ones to inform you
- divorce was finalized
- feel it appropriate to
- have decided to
- have recently been divorced
- let you know that
- may come as a surprise but
- may already know
- need to inform you that
- our separate ways
- the best solution
- to make our marriage work
- was not an easy decision but
- were divorced last month
- wish to announce that
- would rather you heard it from
2 Mention any reasons for the divorce that you feel are appropriate for the reader to know.
Sample Sentences for Step 2
- It is not necessary to go into details, but I do want you to know what our situation is. I am reassuming my maiden name.
- We had irreconcilable differences and felt it best to go our separate ways.
- It seems that our professions have taken us in different directions. We hardly know each other any more.
- As a good friend, you are aware of the problems we have been having, so I don't need to explain the reasons for this decision.
- It is difficult to explain in detail, but separation has become a reality.
Sample Phrases for Step 2
- aware of the problems we have been having
- difficult to explain the reasons
- don't want to force you into taking sides
- don't intend to elaborate upon the reasons
- don't need to explain
- gone in different directions
- hardly know each other any more
- have always been a good friend to both of us
- irreconcilable differences
- know that you will understand
- know what our situation has been
- long history of problems
- no wish to attack each other
- not necessary to go into details
- really don't want to discuss the reasons
- simply felt it best to
- to go our separate ways
- unnecessary to discuss the reasons
- very painful process
3 Explain your current situation to the reader, and mention a desire to continue the relationship.
Sample Sentences for Step 3
- We will maintain separate accounts in the future. I intend to continue my business relationship with Doe's.
- The children will be living with Jane in our old home, and I will be living in my own apartment at 1600 Main Street. My phone number there is 555-5555. I'll call when I get back from Springfield.
- I've gone back to work at the elementary school, and my sister takes care of the children during the day. It will take time, but we will adjust. Please stay in touch.
- I have the children with me, and Jane is living with her folks in Springfield. Fortunately, my family is nearby and they help with the children while I am at work. I would appreciate your continued friendship.
- I continue to teach at the community college, and Jane is enrolled in a nursing program at the university. Both children are away at college, so she will be able to finish her degree.
- Since she has moved to Springfield we seldom see each other. I am living at the old Doe place, but I am in town almost every week, so I'd like to keep in touch. I appreciate your support and understanding.
Sample Phrases for Step 3
- appreciate your friendship
- appreciate your support and understanding
- as soon as my life stabilizes
- children will be living with
- continue to work at
- determined to go forward
- family is helping with
- gone back to work at
- have the children with me
- joint custody arrangement
- living with her parents
- make a fresh start
- new address is
- period of adjustment
- please keep me posted
- seldom see each other
- want to stay in touch
- will cherish most
- will be taking care of the children
- wish to maintain my account with